Parenting Quotes :

Having one child makes you a parent; 
having two you are a referee. 
 (David Frost)

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be at 11.30 tonight. 
He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter. 
 (James T. Adams)

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
(Jim Bishop)

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. (Ralph Bus)

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; 
he does not believe in Santa Claus; 
he is Santa Claus.
 (Bob Phillips)

I never met a kid I liked. 
(W.C. Fields)

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad. 
(W.C. Fields)

Children nowadays are tyrants. 
They contradict their parents, 
gobble their food, 
and tyrannise their teachers. 
 (Socrates)

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. 
Run out and find me a four-year-old child. 
I can't make head nor tail out of it. 
(Groucho Marx)

There are three ways to get something done; 
do it yourself, 
hire someone, or 
forbid your kids to do it. 
(Mona Crane)

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe Namath)


When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. 
But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years. (Anonymous, often erroneously attributed to Mark Twain)